writing – lynn monahan

Halloween is over

I know, it’s a Thursday and it’s not Halloween. But last week I didn’t post and tomorrow I thought I’d hang with my mother and today I’m feeling quite useless in the grand scheme of things so I thought perhaps I would blog. I actually did write a blog earlier this week but ended up not posting and here’s the thing about this, if I don’t post when I write it, well, then I think it’s stupid and I don’t like it and then I don’t post it. So I have to publish right away or I will overthink it. However, since I had these Halloween photos ready to share I thought at least I’d do that. And just a quick recap – my neighbor (who is actually no longer my neighbor and hasn’t been my neighbor since I moved from Mt. Washington) has these elaborate Halloween parties. This year she had this gigantic witch in her foyer (see featured photo) and our entertainment was a group of 4 ukulele players. These four musicians entertained us and then they brought ukuleles for everyone and taught us a song. It was so fun. Our host (my neighbor) makes about 8 courses of food, everyone gives each other a gift (guess what I gave everyone..) and we end up staying for hours and hours and lugging bags of food and gifts home. I mean it, and she, is/are something. I struck gold when I befriended that neighbor (all my friends are gold but just happy to have found this one too)

Here’s something I’m doing. I started making a PowerPoint presentation from a book. I mean, what is wrong with me? I sat here this morning designing a graph. Does this mean I miss work? What does it mean? I bet it means I am a frustrated jar maker who has put all her jars in boxes and in the closet and has sworn off craft shows. Will they end up at Goodwill? I’ll wait a year before I decide that. My part time job asked me to create an Excel file and I am having fun with that. This office, where I am working, was founded in the 50’s and the office processes are pretty much still there, in the 50’s. Maybe the processes are more like the 70’s because at least there are computers but honestly…The guy (a boss) came out of his office yesterday and said he was going to dictate a letter to me. I gave him this look and said “you’re really testing me…” I mean, come on. Just type the dam thing out. Right? That’s what I ended up telling him in the end. Since I have forgotten all my shorthand (although I would love to learn it again) I said next time I’ll just type out as he talks as I can type much faster than handwrite. I thought at one point I should be a court stenographer because I type so fast…maybe I could still do that. Hmmmm. Wouldn’t that be interesting? Except I’d probably make too many noises with my reactions like saying “yea, right…you’re a liar” out loud. Then I’d have to keep typing “strike that.”

In other news, well I don’t have other news, which is a problem for a blogger. But here are today’s thoughts:

Do I give up on having Thanksgiving decorations and just surrender to the early Christmas décor?
Will I get my Christmas tree up in the window by the official lightup night (Nov. 18)
- If Christmas day festivities are moving to my son’s new house, do I even bother with Christmas décor? (other than the one in my window)
Should I give up on moving OUT of the city and embrace city living even more by selling my car and becoming a real city person and using my free senior citizen bus pass to travel. The only place I couldn’t travel to would be the North Hills (sorry Jean – you’d have to meet me at a Park and Ride!)
- Thankful for Aldi’s Instacart if I go this route
Or do I want to buy (living in my head) a 5-bedroom house and join this Facebook group called Host a Sister and then open my house up to weary sister travelers. Then I could cook for these “sisters” and use all my dishes instead of boxing them up and donating them to Goodwill?
Do I get off this chair and do yoga for 20 minutes?
Should I shower today or tomorrow?
Do I need to clean before my Medicare home health visit later today?
- This may be the answer as well to shower today or tomorrow.
Do I have anything to eat?
- How bad is it really to live on brownies?
If I sat here long enough and looked at my computer would a new book idea pop into my head?
- Conversely could I continue with one of my many other book ideas I’ve already started.

The answer is to start with 20 minutes of yoga and then shower and then decide on the cleaning up idea. Do I really care what a home health nurse would say to my throw blankets that are not folded properly and put aside?

And I will continue on the Paint By Number. I think I can maybe even get it done by this weekend. If I get off this chair and away from the computer…

xoxoxo

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202

It’s Friday

In the old days I had a reminder on Fridays to blog. I totally ignored it. But last week after I posted a blog (after a 2 month hiatus) on a Friday, and then Janelly said she missed my blogs, I thought “maybe I’ll try blogging on Fridays again” – just for Janelly. And then I totally forgot about it, until now. It turns out, as is consistent with my life now, and maybe always, that the best laid plans…

Next Thursday I’m leaving for San Francisco. I have a lot to do to get ready to go. My Saturday, Sunday, Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday are all booked with various commitments which left today to pack, etc. AND get ready for the craft show that will be on the Saturday when I get back. I get back on Tuesday night. Work Wednesday and Thursday which leaves Friday to pack the car to be ready for the 8 am craft fair on Saturday. So I was looking forward to getting my act together today. And then….

Last night, coming home from mom day (the day I visit mom) pulling into my city garage, that is under construction, I did not judge the entrance around the construction barriers correctly and caught the corner of the barrier and it popped off the corner of my bumper. I mean talk about WTF. So instead of coming into the apartment and getting started on “stuff” I needed to get done for my busy busy week, I sat on the couch, pissed off, and ate M&Ms. I was asked to send a photo of the bumper to a friend who thought her husband could fix it but I wasn’t going back over there last night. This morning I didn’t even want to get out of bed and think about it. BUT I did get out of bed and walked over and took the photo sent it to her and then decided to send it to another friend who works at an Auto Collision Repair shop. She told me to bring it on in. I did and they popped it back into place and used a zip tie. I mean talk about God being good but so is Janice, James and Tony at the Collision place. After that problem solved I came home and got all the clothes out for the trip. AND, AND, I was able to get all my stuff in ½ of my suitcase. So the person I’m going with can hopefully get their stuff in the other half and look at that, saving money and luggage space. Now, at 4 pm, I’m in my P.J’s and have a little bit of time before my evening commitment and out comes a blog. I mean, how productive was I today even with an unexpected car incident. Don’t you wonder sometimes how you get it all done? I do. Like when I’m entertaining and I have lofty goals for a menu and somehow, miraculously, I get it all done in time. Although I don’t entertain very often now, like never, I still remember how I used to pull it all together.

Speaking of that, I am wondering if it’s time to part with all my dishes. I have 7 or 8 sets of dishes. Mainly just different dinner plates, not like total sets. But living in this stupid city really limits my entertaining options. Nobody wants to come in and risk getting shot, although I’m starting to think as long as they are not selling crack they’re probably going to be okay, but I can’t promise that. I really, really want to move out of the city. REALLY. But in the meantime my part time job is just a walk up the street and my rent is paid for another month so I’m here until at least October.

The moral of the story? There’s always time to blog. Or maybe it’s that things always work out? I don’t know, but here you go Janelly. Just for you.

xoxox

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Butcher, Baker, Candlestick Maker

I was on a call today about promoting my book. You know the one, the only one, Finally Florida. Which led me to look at Goodreads, which led me to update my Books Read page which led me to the fact that I have an Author page which showed me that this blog is connected to Goodreads so it automatically posts on my Goodreads Author page. I have been so absent from writing that I forgot all about that. I’ve obviously forgotten all about the fact that I’ve been a writer. Well, I haven’t really forgotten it. It’s in the back of my mind, always. And I have my book on a table in the middle of the room so every time I walk by it I see it and remember, oh yea, I did that. For awhile I was working on subsequent books and then the Jars happened.

I have been utterly consumed with decorating Jars. In the spiritual world (assuming like everything is connected to everything else) I have no frickin idea how decorating jars would be connected to writing. Other than they are both creative endeavors and Julia Cameron (author of the Artist’s Way) would be very proud of me for expanding my creative self. But it doesn’t help sales of my book. Nor does it expand my goal of writing more books. So today I made a date with two other authors to see what they do to promote themselves and to try and get back to the writer that I am. I mean even Patrick hasn’t sent me a reminder to blog in MONTHS. MONTHS! But I am determined to revive myself as the wannabe writer than I am, or was, or am going to be again.

There is so much happening in my life since retirement. Sometimes I want to cry because I’m so busy and I really long for those beach days when I just grabbed a chair and sat on the beach and read a book. I had no (or minimal) friends in the Florida area so I was not making plans for lunches or dinners as I do now. It’s no one’s fault but my own. I love my friends and I want to see them and I see a free day on my calendar and bam I have a lunch planned. That’s how it starts you know. Then while I’m on the phone catching up with someone who I haven’t had lunch with I start painting a jar. I am a multi-tasker at heart. Often times when on the phone I’ll start dusting. I got that idea from Peggy a long long time ago. I dusted today while talking on the phone. I don’t have any more jars to paint at the moment. I need to go buy some more. But now my adorable, beautiful apartment is littered with jars and napkins (that’s what I decorate the jars with, napkins). So anyway, how is a girl supposed to find the time to write? Oh wait, and then I thought, financially I should probably get a part time job because well I always knew I’d have to support myself in addition to Social Security right? And although I had hoped that my book would be an overnight success and then I’d be this sought after author, well, it hasn’t happened, yet. And when I started decorating these jars it never occurred to me to sell them. It only occurred to me to sell them because I was making too many and had no idea what to do with them. So I decided to try and sell them. That venture has just begun so whether it becomes lucrative or not is yet to be seen.

But, so, work, yea, I called a temp agency and at first there was no response. Was that the Universe telling me no need to go down that path? But then I doubled down and called again and this time there was a response and then they found a job that was supposed to be one day and going forward I would only be called in when the other woman called off. Well, after the first day, “can you come back on Wednesday?” So I was like “sure.” Then it was “can you stay longer?” I agreed to two days a week, 11 am – 3 pm. That was their hours set, not mine, but it worked for me. Then they called and asked if I would work 3 days a week instead of two. Wasn’t this just supposed to be filling in for the full-time person who I was in there supplementing for when she called off? After a long call with Diane who said “you need to set boundaries” – I pulled myself up and stuck to my guns. Two days. That’s it. That’s my boundary.

Okay then it was two days from 11 am – 3 pm. The very next day, “can you stay until 5?” Okay fine, and then when I go into the office the very next day, keep in mind this is like my 4^th day in the office, they tell me the other girl has now quit. For gawd’s sake. BUT I stick to my guns and no I will not work 3 days. NO. Then “well can you come in tomorrow?” (it was for a Thursday) and I said “nope, it’s mom day and she takes priority, sorry”. I mean what have I gotten myself into? Why can’t they leave me alone? The curse of doing a good job.

There are a couple of things I do like about the work. Like there’s an electric typewriter still in use. I, for some reason, find this so much fun when I get to use the typewriter. It’s so nostalgic and it all comes rushing back to me, those days of long ago before keyboards and computers.

I bought an electric typewriter once for my mom, when she was living in Virginia. I can’t remember if she was blind already when I bought it. I might have thought that the memory of typing could be fun for her but I can’t remember the “when” of when I got it for her. I do remember she gave it away and it broke my heart. But if she was blind I can certainly see why. I mean really, she could type but she couldn’t read it back. What’s the use? But I can read things back. Perhaps typing a book on a typewriter would be fun. Hmmm, maybe there’s a spark of something there. Hmm Hmm Hmm.

Let’s see, other aspects of working, well I don’t really mind it. It’s full of tasks and to-do lists and well it’s not a bad thing. It’s only a couple blocks up the street so I am getting exercise when I walk there. There’s a Target on the way home so I can run in and get something to eat for the walk home (for dinner) if needed. The whole working thing makes me feel a little younger actually when I leave at 5 with the rest of the workers I weirdly feel a little young again. So there are some emotional plusses to this work-a-day thing. It’s just that I want to go away. I want to go back to Virginia for a long weekend and well if I have to work on a Monday how does that work? I shouldn’t have to worry about this work business when I’m in retirement. So I’m a little perplexed as to how it fits in the bigger picture. My mom day (I go help with mom) is on Thursday or I could travel on a Thursday-Sunday thing. I guess I could move Mom to Tuesday one week, work Monday, Mom Tuesday, work Wednesday and then go Thursday-Sunday.. But I just hate to accommodate stupid work. See? I have authority issues.

Isn’t this just like me? Rambling on and on with just brain dumping. I mean it’s just so me. And why have I forsaken myself (and my writing) for all these months? I’ll tell you why. Jars! Honestly Jars!

I love my Jars. I’ve done one Flea Market (no sales, not one) and one 2-day “Fair in the Woodlands” which wasn’t a huge success but also not a failure. I’m hoping to do another flea market tomorrow and then I have a few craft shows in September and more to come in the fall. There’s a lot to learn about all this and I am really enjoying all of it. I do kinda wish, in my dream head, that I just had a store front to put them in instead of lugging all this stuff around to craft shows. Especially since my car is parked ½ block away in the city and loading and unloading is a challenge. I’m up to the challenge but wouldn’t it be easier just to plop them in a storefront, and I live in the back of the store? LOL. And people just come in and take what they want. I honestly don’t even care if I sell them I just want them out of my house because I make too many! But I might as well sell them.

Okay this has gone on long enough. If anyone at all reads this then that will be a miracle. But not as much as the miracle I am feeling in writing it again. It’s all coming back to me. I can be a writer AND a jar maker, a candlestick maker and baker. But not a butcher.

Hmmm, maybe I’ll make some chocolate chip cookies.

Xoxoxo

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1911

Exercising the writing muscle

I recently decided to commit to trying to write on a consistent basis. So whether I grab a notebook and write something (usually complain) or just type nonsense I would do that. I wouldn’t try and post a blog everyday like the old finally florida blog but if I could just start again, well maybe some new/fresh idea would pop into my head and I could start having fun again. Because that is what writing is for me, essentially, at least when I’m in the flow. It’s fun. When I’m not in the flow it’s tedious and stupid at best and well that’s when I don’t do it at all. Well anyway, I’m trying to be purposeful about it and have fun and so that’s that.

And here it is Friday and part of my practice was to try and post something on Fridays, just because if I practice producing something worth reading then maybe that’ll help get those juices flowing as well. And here’s the conundrum,

it’s Friday

I got nuthin

I mean I could go on about the week. It was pretty good. I had a dragonfly fly in my window yesterday. And he/she just laid there until the rain was over. And I thought “I wonder if this is good luck” and so I Googled it and sure enough dragonflies are all kinds of good luck and so lucky me that I didn’t smash him. (I’m not really a bug smasher. I even saved a fly today, and I hate flies) Actually when I noticed him moving around again I noticed his wing was for some reason stuck to the wall. So I freed him and out he went. Doesn’t that sound like I should be having all this good luck now? Dragonfly sightings (according to Google) mean a transformation is at hand. And the fact that I unstuck my dragonfly, well, doesn’t that just sound hopeful? And maybe I’m in for some sort of transformation after I become unstuck.

I have a good imagination.

I read this book called Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert. She also wrote Eat Pray Love. For anyone interested in writing it’s pretty perfect. Anyway, she says that ideas and characters sort of float around in the ethos and wait for someone to grab on to them and put them on paper. Isn’t that a crazy thought? I like it.

Maybe if I just ramble on enough some character, wanting to be written about, is going to pick me! Choose me!!

I think there are all kinds of possibilities out there in the world. Being of a certain age kinda shows you that life can change in an instant. We all know horrible things can happen in an instant, accidents, deaths, disease. BUT I believe good things can happen too. Ideas can spring forth, inspiration can come and all the sudden you are writing a book, and having fun, and laughing at the stupid things you are putting down on paper, even if you’re the only one laughing. It’s still fun.

And well that’s all I got for this Friday.

xoxoxo

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I write because..

I know I’ve mentioned Amy on here before. She is my blogging friend. I consider her a good friend although we have never met, and probably never will meet. Well who knows maybe we will someday. Anyway the other day I mentioned that she had quit blogging and then the next day she started blogging again. YAY for me! Not to embarrass her or anything but she has been so inspirational or just entertaining to me in many ways. I’ve talked about her “whoo” advice. She’s the one that posted about the moon phases, she’s given me advice on my Vision board, and she is the one that inspired me to buy the book The Artists Way which of course I never followed through with doing the exercises. She is also a reason that I don’t quit blogging. Although other people have thousands of followers and I have 20 I have had one or two mention they like reading my ramblings. And you know what? I believe them. I believe them because I know how much I like reading other people’s blurbs. I can’t explain it either. Can you? I think people initially falsely think that when you blog you are sharing your very private moment-by-moment feelings. We all know what I mostly write about is nonsense. While I do tend to share some really deep feelings it’s not like they’re secrets. Sure most people keep that stuff close to the vest as they say, and maybe rightly so in some cases, and believe me there is a lot that I don’t share…believe it or not… which is actually evidenced with the way Finally Florida ended catching everyone by surprise, mostly everyone, well not Diane anyway…ANYWAY, blogging and writing for me is not only therapeutic for me, it’s connecting. I have often made comments about not making friends or not wanting new friends and sometimes I even think I mean it, but we all know I’m full of shit because what I do want and crave is connections. That is why I spend a lot of time on the phone. That is why I started the blog to begin with – to keep me connected to my homies when I moved away. I need to stay connected with those friends, even if I’m not meeting them at Pizza Roma every week – or attending Fireball Fridays – or floating in their pools – or having lunch with the committee – I still need to connect – and writing connects me. It connects me with people I don’t even know. It connects me in ways I don’t expect, but then learn about when I get a comment, and it connects me with myself. Just like the way I blurted out, as I was writing, about Trump being good for the country (you really have to read it in context here) I did not expect that to come out of my head and so sometimes when I write I am learning things about myself as well. Most of the time when I sit down to write I have an idea but I don’t know exactly what is going to come out of my head. And then it just starts coming and I just keep writing and when I’m done I think “hey, that’s kinda good.” and then I publish it and I feel like I’ve done something fun and good. It’s truly an exercise.

I write because it’s connecting. I write because it’s therapeutic. I write because Ja Nel likes it when I write (although I haven’t heard from her in awhile) and well I guess as long as one person likes reading what I write, as I’ve liked reading what Amy writes, then why not keep it up? But really the main reason I write is because “I” like it. I like when I put myself out there and someone thanks me for making them feel something in themselves and I like when I get a comment that people haven’t forgotten me and/or care about what I’m doing (and not doing) I get satisfaction by hitting that “publish” button and putting my thought for the day out there in the ethers and knowing that people literally all over the world might be reading it and laughing or crying or thinking I’m nuts, but whatever they’re, thinking they’re thinking about it because “I” wrote it and well that’s kinda cool.

Thanks Amy for inspiring me to write this today!! Here’s her blog if you’d like to be inspired by her too: Snapshots, Snippets and Scribbles

xoxo

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