Coming back to life

Remember my little jade tree?  The one that used to be the BIG jade tree that fell over?  Look – it’s getting stronger.  It likes it here on my mother’s porch.

Exactly 50 miles for my errands. That included the library, farmers market, Food Lion, the seamstress, Wegmans (for things that Food Lion didn’t have) and finally the Dollar Store because they are the only ones that carry the Kleenex box size my mother uses. It’s a lot of running around.  I don’t do that all the time.  Maybe once a week.

Speaking of cars (we were sort of) my car is doing great (knock on wood all together now).  I drove it here to Virginia of course (from Florida) then up to Pittsburgh over the weekend, in torrential rain on the way there, like really really harrowing scary rain and it did great.  However, those roads getting from the Southside up to Mt. Washington, well they aren’t even roads.  At one point the GPS was telling me to take a right and I didn’t see a road.  I drove by again and I’m like there is NO way that is a road and if it is who would take their car down it?  It was crazy.  So I would not want to keep my car in Pittsburgh.  I also don’t know about having this “sports” car in this area.  It seems like I need an SUV or something with four wheel drive.  I have a lot to think about where that car is concerned but for now it is not failing me and I’m loving it.  I wonder how long you can keep a car without making payments.

It is peaceful here in the woods but you people with big houses…:-)… when I’m not running errands or running somewhere to get an internet connection I’m cleaning screens, washing windows, doing yard work, cleaning floors. So not a lot of peace going on. There is a lot of upkeep.  Not that my mom doesn’t keep up with it but I’m here so shouldn’t I be doing it?  Isn’t that why I’m here?  Well, as my sister was quick to remind me when I mentioned that I think I need to stay here with my mom, she reminded me that I have no choice.  I have no where else to go.  Thanks for that sis.  But it’s true.  Although now I’m feeling that I “need” to stay, but again, my sister is right, I don’t have a choice, not like I’m here out of the kindness of my heart or like I made some sacrifice to take care of my mom.  Not that I’m NOT taking care of my mom…but you know, it’s the circumstances that led me here.  Someone mentioned to me recently that this is a nice reprieve for me.  Nothing was nicer than the reprieve I had living at the beach in 400 sq. ft. Nothing.

But here I am.

I have a friend – go me.  Lori, who I went to Edinboro with all those years ago, lives here in the area.  She’s relatively new to the area too so hasn’t made a lot of friends yet.  However, she said she was invited to Bunko and they said she could bring a friend!  How fun is that?  She’s visited here today and we drove around Goochland County (where I live) and then next time I’ll head over her way.  I’m very excited to have a friend.  Also, she rides (or used to ride) horses.  I mean could it be kismet? I gotta get my helmet and chaps out of storage. I gotta get a lot of things out of storage.  I have to get to my storage. That storage issue is a big headache.  But I’m not going to talk about that today.

I’ve been cooking very healthy food for me and mom so that’s nice for both of us.  She sure is enjoying that.  I “think” she likes me being here but is very concerned for my state of mind (she knows I’m sad and nervous about what’s next.) She is being very very kind and I couldn’t be in a better place under the circumstances. However, I don’t think she thinks for one minute that I’m staying here.  I’m not sure if she wants me to move back to Florida because she knows that’s what I want or if she wants her privacy back.  This is a very precarious predicament to be in because she would never want me to stay out of obligation, never! (see previous statement from my sister.)  So we will have to see how this plays out.  Wait and see.  It certainly is a new adventure.  It’s just instead of the move to Florida where I was 1000% all in and ready for that challenge, and so so so excited to move there, finally, I came here defeated, dejected, without a choice. And now I have to make the most of it.  A different adventure.  A different blog.  Instead of starting on this big high in Florida and falling down slowly I am looking forward to how I will rise above, starting out beaten down and rising above.  Maybe this is the wave Maryann was talking about.

Deconstruct to Reconstruct (Psych 101).

Ttfn..

xoxoxo

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3 thoughts on “Coming back to life”

  1. Hmm… perhaps you could call this blog “Helium”, as in helium balloon”. You know… ’cause they rise to great heights when they are untethered. Or, maybe “Hot Air”? 😀

  2. Perhaps there is greater purpose, that is yet to be discovered, as to why you are in Virginia. Perhaps, although you would be happier in Florida, the timing or karma, if you want to call it that was off. Perhaps there is a fantastic adventure that awaits you that you know nothing about! I see exciting things in your future!

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